Friendly contest or friendly fire?

| JANUARY 15, 2017, 12:00 AM IST

SLUG: On The Lighter Side

Soon after Babush Monserrate said the United Goans Party (UGP) candidate and the Congress would engage in a friendly fight in Cortalim, the mother of all searches began. Google was peppered with searches on friendly fight, friendlies and what not. It happens when politicians invent phrases to suit the political situation. We undertook a few searches ourselves.

Firstly, ‘friendlies’ are by and large restricted to sport (as if politics is not a sport). In the world of football, teams either at the club or national level, play friendly matches where all the rules of the game come into play and that would include slide tackles, shin-kicking, foul language, yellow and red cards and goal posts, because if there are no goal posts it would be cricket. The only difference is that winning and losing does not impact on the teams overall ratings.

We also found out that there is no such thing as a ‘friendly’ in the world of boxing where two people get into the ring and agree to beat the crap out of each other. There is nothing friendly about such a bout, even though it is closer to politics than football is.

However, every now and then two fellows with grudges go to the backyard for a punch out. This could be labelled as a friendly match until someone gets hurt and has to be rushed to the hospital for a few stitches.

In Goa the Congress, UGP and Goa Forward Party (GFP) have introduced the concept of friendly fights in Cortalim and Velim. So, is this going to be a backyard fight where friends and relatives gather to cheer the two contestants? Maybe not. You cannot have a backyard fight in a state that steadfastly says, ‘not in my backyard’.

A question that arises from this new and confusing development is, will the contestants be friends before the contest, during the contest and after the contest? Another question that begs an answer is, if they are friends, why are they contesting? The more one tries to demystify this ‘friendly’ business or breathe sense into it, the deeper one slips into the abyss of confusion.

Actually, the truth, in the case of the Congress and Babush Monserrate is that they are friends in Panaji and not in Cortalim. In the case of GFP, they are friends in Fatorda, Siolim, Saligao and not Velim. By that logic how can one have friendly contests in Velim and Cortalim? We are half-way down that abyss, aren’t we?

In the dangerous theatre of war, where people die, there is something known as ‘friendly fire’. It refers to soldiers killed or injured by their own side because someone could not aim well enough. So in Cortalim and Velim the Congress, Goa Forward Party and United Goans Party (it’s raining political parties in Goa) have a gentleman’s agreement to fire at each other, but should a casualty occur they will list cause of death due to ‘friendly fire’. This is what it really means. Does that make sense, or have we slipped deeper into the abyss?

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