How many times have you gotten
upset because someone wasn’t
doing their job, because your
child isn’t behaving, because your
partner or friend isn’t living up to his
or her end of the bargain?
How many times have you been irritated
when someone doesn’t do things
the way you’re used to? Or when
you’ve planned something carefully
and things didn’t go as you’d hoped?
This kind of anger and irritation happens
to all of us — it’s part of the human experience. And it
isn’t always easy to find peace when you’ve become upset or
irritated.
Let me let you in on a little secret to finding peace of mind:
see the glass as already broken.
See, the cause of our stress, anger and irritation is that things
don’t go the way we like, the way we expect them to. Think of
how many times this has been true for you.
And so the solution is simple: expect things to go wrong, expect
things to be different than we hoped or planned, expect
the unexpected to happen. And accept it.
One quick example: on our recent trip to Japan, I told my
kids to expect things to go wrong — they always do on a trip. I
told them, “See it as part of the adventure.”
And this worked like a charm. When we inevitably took the
wrong train on a foreign-language subway system, or when
it rained on the day we went to Disney Sea, or when we took
three trains and walked 10 blocks only to find the National
Children’s Castle closed on Mondays … they said, “It’s part of
the adventure!” And it was all OK — we didn’t get too bothered.
So when the nice glass you bought inevitably falls and
breaks, someday, you might get upset. But not if you see the
glass as already broken, from the day you get it. You know it’ll
break someday, so from the beginning, see it as already broken.
Be a time-traveler, or someone with time-traveling vision,
and see the future of this glass, from this moment until it inevitably
breaks. And when it breaks, you won’t be upset or sad
— because it was already broken, from the day you got it. And
you’ll realize that every moment you have with it is precious.
Expect your child to mess up. Expect your partner to be less
than perfect. Expect people to be rude sometimes. Expect the
glass to break. And you will find peace.
